Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
