ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
