She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
