There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
