He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
