Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
