Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
