dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
My vagina is very pro this idea
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