Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
