You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
