last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
