i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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