remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
