big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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