How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Randomize
