she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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