i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
