Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Randomize
