I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
