Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
