Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
ttyl tear gas
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I want to be your penis for a week.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
