his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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