Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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