That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
