Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
