I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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