I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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