so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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