OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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