Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
it's great music for shaving your balls
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
