He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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