It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Only a mothe r could love this liver
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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