Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical�
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
