So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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