it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
