Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
