a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
