I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
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