A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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