I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize