Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Randomize
