So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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