My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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