how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
