i don't plan on having that self control this summer
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
