Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
He called his prostate his "boner button".
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
