He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
