your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
