Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
