So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
